Yay! Exams ended!
So what now?
Idk...
just sucks to dont know...
School organised agape week... yay.
learned about relationships and sexuality and all...
some stuffs might be true but I think it definitely not the same for everyone..
Friday had a surprise early news on the bio paper...
I wasnt expecting to do well and certainly not wanting to do badly either...
This eoys i havent found any motivation to do work..
I purely mugged just a couple of days before the papers..
Throughout my student life, I know that I'm not exactly a pure intelligent student...
I need hard work.. LOTS OF HARD WORK to even do desirably well..
and I certainly did not input that much this time round...
I expect to do badly..
The feeling I know will suck..
I gotto brace myself for the impact, the HUGE impending doom...
I know the consequences but I did not do anything to prevent that from happening..
hopefully I learn my lesson...
... y am i so emo today?
idk...
bio had been in my mind for the damned night...
idk how the other papers will fare...
results which certainly does not really matters so much in life just mattered enough to make me so downcast and feel.. sucky...
Woke up to 2 messages on my phone..
one was school matters... SMP..
I feel I needed to join something to help my portfolio, my future...
sigh materialistic world and society...
Once again, I questioned my decision to join VIP...
There are simply too many people to compete with..
Am I thinking too much?
idk...
Two, my past was brought up..
idk if you should call it hurtful or nostalgic...
I really wish to return to the past and settle this properly...
idk what I was up to then.. sigh...
hope it is not too late to resolve matters..
Mum got my hint to go out before my dentist appointment.. yay!
havent went out with mum and spend some quality time with her in a while...
had some happy moments there
I needed Court shoes a new pair of running shoes and yea...
I was hoping to get them today..
now I feel that if I had gotten it today, it'd had distracted me from all these shyt im going through now...
Anyways it was quite positive
mum promised me that shoe..YAY!
hopefully she keeps her promise?
I have so much to buy... but all are kept within myself...
I shouldnt portray myself as such an insensitive boy in front of my mum...
c'mon! I'm alr grown up! haha
In the end, didnt get what i want... cuz idk wad should i really get..
oh wells... dentist was as usual...
red braces now haha
it was sian chinese tuition..
2 more weeks of tuition left!
just jiayou a bit more for another year and chinese begone!
but i think i'll miss chinese..
chinese sometimes help distinguish myself from the other top performers in school..
but oh well it'll all voice down to english and the sciences and humans where there are so much more competition...
Dinner was great!
seafood yay!
I loved the assam fish there!
then went home and stoned..
tried practising electone but no inspiration came..
I wanna learn guitar but idk....
do i have time?
how much can i commit?
sigh...
life is such a challenge...
i hope i can overcome these challenges and emerge a stronger and happier person..
who is sure of himself and ot always say: idk...
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Friday, May 6, 2011
songs..
Maroon 5 - Nothing Lasts Forever
It is so easy to see
Dysfunction between you and me
We must free up these tired souls
Before the sadness kills us both
I tried and tried to let you know
I love you but I'm letting go
It may not last but I don't know
Just don't know
If you don't know
Then you can't care
And you show up
But you're not there
But I'm waiting
And you want to
Still afraid that I will desert you
Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way
A bed that's warm with memories
Can heal us temporarily
The misbehaving only makes
The ditch between us so damn deep
Built a wall around my heart
I'll never let it fall apart
But strangely I wish secretly
It would fall down while I'm asleep
If you don't know
Then you can't care
And you show up
But you're not there
But I'm waiting
And you want to
Still afraid that I will desert you, babe
Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way
Tough we have not hit the ground
It doesn't mean we're not still falling,
Oh I want so bad to pick you up
But you're still too reluctant to accept my help
What a shame, I hope you find somewhere to place the blame
But until then the fact remains
Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes you so hard to stay
Nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way
Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way
FM Static - Last Train Home
Looks like another long dark night
Another moon, another question why?
It's like we were never meant to know sometimes
But nobody wants to be left behind
If we were smarter we could win this thing
We pile the problems in the kitchen sink
We all laugh as we touch the sky
Just like it happens when the angels fly
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
We've fallen apart
Somewhere back at the start
When we thought that we could fix each other
By ourselves
Let's get back to the part
When things weren't like they are
And we were laughing
On the last train home
You can't underestimate me
Cause I been feelin' lately
Like I'm off course
Ooh ooh
You can shoot me like a cannon
But I'll still be here standin'
Underneath your sun
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
We've fallen apart
Somewhere back at the start
When we thought that we could fix each other
By ourselves
Let's get back to the part
When things weren't like they are
And we were laughing
On the last train home
I stopped lying when I believed myself
Cause I stopped tryin'
If there was no way out
Faith is just the other end of doubt
Your truth is gonna make it alright
I stopped lying when I believed myself
Cause I stopped tryin'
If there was no way out
Faith is just the other end of doubt
Your truth is gonna make it alright
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
We've fallen apart
Somewhere back at the start
When we thought that we could fix each other
By ourselves
Let's get back to the part
When things weren't like they are
And we were laughing
On the last train home
It is so easy to see
Dysfunction between you and me
We must free up these tired souls
Before the sadness kills us both
I tried and tried to let you know
I love you but I'm letting go
It may not last but I don't know
Just don't know
If you don't know
Then you can't care
And you show up
But you're not there
But I'm waiting
And you want to
Still afraid that I will desert you
Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way
A bed that's warm with memories
Can heal us temporarily
The misbehaving only makes
The ditch between us so damn deep
Built a wall around my heart
I'll never let it fall apart
But strangely I wish secretly
It would fall down while I'm asleep
If you don't know
Then you can't care
And you show up
But you're not there
But I'm waiting
And you want to
Still afraid that I will desert you, babe
Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way
Tough we have not hit the ground
It doesn't mean we're not still falling,
Oh I want so bad to pick you up
But you're still too reluctant to accept my help
What a shame, I hope you find somewhere to place the blame
But until then the fact remains
Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes you so hard to stay
Nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way
Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way
FM Static - Last Train Home
Looks like another long dark night
Another moon, another question why?
It's like we were never meant to know sometimes
But nobody wants to be left behind
If we were smarter we could win this thing
We pile the problems in the kitchen sink
We all laugh as we touch the sky
Just like it happens when the angels fly
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
We've fallen apart
Somewhere back at the start
When we thought that we could fix each other
By ourselves
Let's get back to the part
When things weren't like they are
And we were laughing
On the last train home
You can't underestimate me
Cause I been feelin' lately
Like I'm off course
Ooh ooh
You can shoot me like a cannon
But I'll still be here standin'
Underneath your sun
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
We've fallen apart
Somewhere back at the start
When we thought that we could fix each other
By ourselves
Let's get back to the part
When things weren't like they are
And we were laughing
On the last train home
I stopped lying when I believed myself
Cause I stopped tryin'
If there was no way out
Faith is just the other end of doubt
Your truth is gonna make it alright
I stopped lying when I believed myself
Cause I stopped tryin'
If there was no way out
Faith is just the other end of doubt
Your truth is gonna make it alright
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
We've fallen apart
Somewhere back at the start
When we thought that we could fix each other
By ourselves
Let's get back to the part
When things weren't like they are
And we were laughing
On the last train home
She.My Beautiful Experience
Love.
This world is full of them..
Family
Friends
Besties
Relationships
My life till 2010 has experienced the fort 3 types. I was exposed to the 4th kind just not long ago.
Can say it spanned 6 months.
6 months of a fresh new experience
6 months of a new form of joy.
6 months of feeling loved.
Truthfully when this started, I didnt realise what it held.
Just a new friendship?
Just a new level of friendship?
Just a new level of intimacy between friends?
Just a form of stress reliever?
Just a new rights to brag to friends about?
.
.
.
No. it's responsibility. A whole new level of that in friends I have never entrust myself to before. But I was too late when I realised. I had made a vow. One that have me holding another's heart and mind. I've to protect that brittle thing. Any carelessness, it might be lost. Great responsibility comes with great consequences.
When it was initiated, I had just one thing in mind. YOU. not a future you but a short-sighted me looking at you. I see it as a really superficial thing. A cool new relationship. Something I see a lot in dramas and sometimes close up with my best friends getting into them. I thought it would be something real cool. Imagine getting a brand new comp. WOAH! So shiok! Then you get hooked up on it. But in actual, getting hooked up means a new distraction. A pleasure but sacrifices must be made. That is time. Precious time. Teenage times are the most precious. They cannot be wasted. Not a bit. Just a little loss can have deadly result in the future.
With one hand on a heart, I only have the other hand for other stuffs. And stuffs refers to studies in my context. For all my lives, studies is handled by both hands. And now it' reduced to just one. Joining IP has piled even more work on those hands and now half the effort is left to handle it. OMG stress. Balancing is tough. At least for a not natural talented but hardwork-oriented person like me. I cannot afford to lose any precious time and must whole-heartedly concentrate on a single stuff.or else EVERYTHING will be in shambles.
During the hols. I had not known what I was up against in IP. In January, nothing much started. I neglected the true horror I was warned of. I went deeper into her...
Like->Love
Close Friend->Closer Friend
Nothing-> Something
Responsibility-> Greater Responsibility
Stress reliever->stress contributor
.
.
.
When reality struck, nature seems to be a destructive force against me.
It wasnt easy. It never is.
I signed up for 4 years of mass intellect challenge.
It was never expected to be it is like by the short-sighted me.
Stress builds up in the conscientious me as I start to feel lost.
Lost:
adjective
distracted; distraught; desperate; hopeless: the lost look of a man trapped and afraid.
Definition 9. it explains me in that period of uncertainty and lifelessness.
Of course. nothing i do can help her recover fully.
All I can blame is myself. for my irresponsibility. for my poor time management. for my poor stress management. for my shortsightedness. this list just goes on.
I'd love to apologize. Sorry. I know this is nothing even insufficient to help. This late response is not going to help either. As usual, i am caught up with a lot of things around me and adapting hard to the new way of life. Wish her all the best and jiayous! Hope she'll talk to me again.
bye for now
This world is full of them..
Family
Friends
Besties
Relationships
My life till 2010 has experienced the fort 3 types. I was exposed to the 4th kind just not long ago.
Can say it spanned 6 months.
6 months of a fresh new experience
6 months of a new form of joy.
6 months of feeling loved.
Truthfully when this started, I didnt realise what it held.
Just a new friendship?
Just a new level of friendship?
Just a new level of intimacy between friends?
Just a form of stress reliever?
Just a new rights to brag to friends about?
.
.
.
No. it's responsibility. A whole new level of that in friends I have never entrust myself to before. But I was too late when I realised. I had made a vow. One that have me holding another's heart and mind. I've to protect that brittle thing. Any carelessness, it might be lost. Great responsibility comes with great consequences.
When it was initiated, I had just one thing in mind. YOU. not a future you but a short-sighted me looking at you. I see it as a really superficial thing. A cool new relationship. Something I see a lot in dramas and sometimes close up with my best friends getting into them. I thought it would be something real cool. Imagine getting a brand new comp. WOAH! So shiok! Then you get hooked up on it. But in actual, getting hooked up means a new distraction. A pleasure but sacrifices must be made. That is time. Precious time. Teenage times are the most precious. They cannot be wasted. Not a bit. Just a little loss can have deadly result in the future.
With one hand on a heart, I only have the other hand for other stuffs. And stuffs refers to studies in my context. For all my lives, studies is handled by both hands. And now it' reduced to just one. Joining IP has piled even more work on those hands and now half the effort is left to handle it. OMG stress. Balancing is tough. At least for a not natural talented but hardwork-oriented person like me. I cannot afford to lose any precious time and must whole-heartedly concentrate on a single stuff.or else EVERYTHING will be in shambles.
During the hols. I had not known what I was up against in IP. In January, nothing much started. I neglected the true horror I was warned of. I went deeper into her...
Like->Love
Close Friend->Closer Friend
Nothing-> Something
Responsibility-> Greater Responsibility
Stress reliever->stress contributor
.
.
.
When reality struck, nature seems to be a destructive force against me.
It wasnt easy. It never is.
I signed up for 4 years of mass intellect challenge.
It was never expected to be it is like by the short-sighted me.
Stress builds up in the conscientious me as I start to feel lost.
Lost:
adjective
2.
no longer to be found: lost articles.
5.
being something that someone has failed to win: a lostprize.
6.
ending in or attended with defeat: a lost battle.
7.
destroyed or ruined: lost ships.
8.
preoccupied; rapt: He seems lost in thought.
9.
Definition 9. it explains me in that period of uncertainty and lifelessness.
Of course. nothing i do can help her recover fully.
All I can blame is myself. for my irresponsibility. for my poor time management. for my poor stress management. for my shortsightedness. this list just goes on.
I'd love to apologize. Sorry. I know this is nothing even insufficient to help. This late response is not going to help either. As usual, i am caught up with a lot of things around me and adapting hard to the new way of life. Wish her all the best and jiayous! Hope she'll talk to me again.
bye for now
Monday, January 10, 2011
oh gosh..! Feeling so guilty:X
HELLOS! :D
Omg.. Just bought hell lotsa stuff for myself:P at AMH Hub and NEX last week:B
Let me list them:
1)Cadigan from CottonOn $15
2)Shirt from COttonOn $10
3)sweater from CottonOn $15
4)Converse Shoes $48
5)Belt $5
6)Sweeter from G2000 $35
7)iPhone 4 XD $480 plus iFlexi Lite Plan from Singtel
Omg I feel so guilty for all of the above items:X
All if them are funded by my parents except the iPhone... I've gotto settle that with my own money:/
Now I guess I'm very much contented for at least the next half year:P I so mist get rid of this meterialistic mindset of mine man... : X cannot have Sao much desires anymore!
School starting le! Must study hard! Concentrate! RAWR!
Calv:B
Omg.. Just bought hell lotsa stuff for myself:P at AMH Hub and NEX last week:B
Let me list them:
1)Cadigan from CottonOn $15
2)Shirt from COttonOn $10
3)sweater from CottonOn $15
4)Converse Shoes $48
5)Belt $5
6)Sweeter from G2000 $35
7)iPhone 4 XD $480 plus iFlexi Lite Plan from Singtel
Omg I feel so guilty for all of the above items:X
All if them are funded by my parents except the iPhone... I've gotto settle that with my own money:/
Now I guess I'm very much contented for at least the next half year:P I so mist get rid of this meterialistic mindset of mine man... : X cannot have Sao much desires anymore!
School starting le! Must study hard! Concentrate! RAWR!
Calv:B
Day 1 reflections 'kope' from class IPO blog :P
Hellos!:D Must we really do this? So tired already:| Oh well... Fine.
Woke up super early today like 5:30am? So not used to that timing... All thanks to the hols that messed up my lifestyle:/ Hope that i can get use to this by this week:)
Lala so took the bus to serangoon then circle line-ed to paya lebar den bus my way to VJC... Couldnt be any much drastic difference from VS life.. Met Sean on the bus at Parkway.. Sean: I envy you... Stay so close to school.. Can wake up at 7 walau haha:P
Anyways reached school, went to the elective hub and lala (stone) outside, along with a few super enthusiastic early birds:)
More lala when waiting for activities to start.. And nice storyline about the Greek gods, seniors:) added a whole new purpose to things we did.. LOL
Met the scholars from our class:) 3 china chinese and 2 Indian scholars:) had a hard time remembering their name:/ guess i have forgotten most of their names:/ but I'll try my best still:)
Ice breakers were fun and it was a great way to start the activities for the day:) with some lame yet exciting games lol.. Ice weren't exactly melted because most of us have hanged out together during the hols:)
Had fun watching people get sabo-ed and do forfeit during the sun moon game thing lol:P
Next up, Telematch :D it was really competitive, even though some stuff were kinda lame and simple:P learned some random facts about VJC haha We lost to v13 at the last round :O but it was fun still:) and we did our best:)
Then came the most energy draining activity of the day: Treasure Hunt!:D Zeus' lightning was somehow missing and 20 tribes were out hunting for it! Learned much about VJC during the hunt and cheers too:) thanks to my tribe's ic I-Lin for her guidance:) and to all my tribe mates: Darren, Eri, Jaslyn, Angelie (not sure if it spelt that way:P sorry if it's wrong:/)and Ginnette:) we made it into 11st place:) woohoo! ELEVEN :) like our class' name:)
Then finally things ended on another high note:) jokes, games, cheers and laughter-filled last 2 hours:) and FINALLY debrief:)
Like the seniors said the aim for us is to start as 1, end as 1 at the end of IPO. And I believe we made a huge first step towards achieving the ultimate goal:)
And the moral of today's adventure: teamwork, camaraderie haha was learned through those games we played together:D thanks seniors and PSLs for organising this awesome day for us and I look forward to more awesomeness tomorrow and the days after:D
Calvin:D
Woke up super early today like 5:30am? So not used to that timing... All thanks to the hols that messed up my lifestyle:/ Hope that i can get use to this by this week:)
Lala so took the bus to serangoon then circle line-ed to paya lebar den bus my way to VJC... Couldnt be any much drastic difference from VS life.. Met Sean on the bus at Parkway.. Sean: I envy you... Stay so close to school.. Can wake up at 7 walau haha:P
Anyways reached school, went to the elective hub and lala (stone) outside, along with a few super enthusiastic early birds:)
More lala when waiting for activities to start.. And nice storyline about the Greek gods, seniors:) added a whole new purpose to things we did.. LOL
Met the scholars from our class:) 3 china chinese and 2 Indian scholars:) had a hard time remembering their name:/ guess i have forgotten most of their names:/ but I'll try my best still:)
Ice breakers were fun and it was a great way to start the activities for the day:) with some lame yet exciting games lol.. Ice weren't exactly melted because most of us have hanged out together during the hols:)
Had fun watching people get sabo-ed and do forfeit during the sun moon game thing lol:P
Next up, Telematch :D it was really competitive, even though some stuff were kinda lame and simple:P learned some random facts about VJC haha We lost to v13 at the last round :O but it was fun still:) and we did our best:)
Then came the most energy draining activity of the day: Treasure Hunt!:D Zeus' lightning was somehow missing and 20 tribes were out hunting for it! Learned much about VJC during the hunt and cheers too:) thanks to my tribe's ic I-Lin for her guidance:) and to all my tribe mates: Darren, Eri, Jaslyn, Angelie (not sure if it spelt that way:P sorry if it's wrong:/)and Ginnette:) we made it into 11st place:) woohoo! ELEVEN :) like our class' name:)
Then finally things ended on another high note:) jokes, games, cheers and laughter-filled last 2 hours:) and FINALLY debrief:)
Like the seniors said the aim for us is to start as 1, end as 1 at the end of IPO. And I believe we made a huge first step towards achieving the ultimate goal:)
And the moral of today's adventure: teamwork, camaraderie haha was learned through those games we played together:D thanks seniors and PSLs for organising this awesome day for us and I look forward to more awesomeness tomorrow and the days after:D
Calvin:D
Monday, January 3, 2011
Resolutions for TWENTY-ELEVEN:D
HELLOS WORLD! :D
1) Get a MSG of lower than 1.5 (current 1.9)
2) Achieve a result good enough to land me a spot in a 4 year IP Programme.
3) Achieve something for VS and Infocomm Club (last year was slacking)
4) Increase my stamina for running to 3 and a half rounds of fast jog without stopping
5) Get the red dots out of my face (and hopefully for life)
6) Widen my social network
A new year has just begun! :D The Awesome Twenty Ten had ended. Well reflecting on my old 2010 resolutions: http://redgreenpinkblue.blogspot.com/2010/01/new-years-resolution.html
2) Achieve a result good enough to land me a spot in a 4 year IP Programme.
3) Achieve something for VS and Infocomm Club (last year was slacking)
4) Increase my stamina for running to 3 and a half rounds of fast jog without stopping
5) Get the red dots out of my face (and hopefully for life)
6) Widen my social network
Lets see which i have achieve:D and which not:/ and evaluation time:D
Point one: Achieving MSG of <1.5
It was ridiculously ambitious:O
Point two: Achieve a result good enough to land me a spot in a 4 year IP Programme
Achieved:D In fact in Victoria Junior College, VIP :D
Point three: Achieve something for VS and Infocomm Club (last year was slacking
Maybe? I did bit part work in the background and there's still a pending competition for SDMA 2011 :D Hopefully my team can achieve the PLATINUM award XD This, I gotto thank my senior, WK a lot for his help and guidance and my partner DL :D
Point four: Increase my stamina for running to 3 and a half rounds of fast jog without stopping
Achieved at some point in time last year :P Then died down.. Now, I'm totally NOT FIT :O Stamina died-ed... :/
Point five: Get the red dots out of my face (and hopefully for life)
Nope:/ always ALMOST made it! Then broke out again :/
Point six: Widen my social network
Yep! :D I had a good bond between most of my classmates, made new friends around school and cool people from other schools! :D
So, evaluated the previous resolutions, didn't achieve all of them:/ Lesson learned.
Dun be overly ambitious in your resolutions
Dun try to hope nature change her course because of you.
Dun be lazy after achieving, MAINTAIN
So, learning from life's lessons, I'm back at making more mistakes in life for the new year:P
So here are the resolutions for 2011:
- Achieve a top third academic performance in school
- Make a good impression in school
- Be able to balance academic with CCA and play
- Do everything wholeheartedly, do not be lazy and 偷工减料 :/
- Be fit and get at least a NAPFA Silver (omg full pull-ups)
- Reduce angering parents
- Be a good example to sibling
- Keep in contact with all my friends and know them better if i do not know them very well
- Never break someone's heart
- Continue making more friends/ continue widening my social network :D
I hope that I can fulfil my goals and wishes all a fruitful 2011 ahead! :D
bais:) Calv :D
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